Sea Cucumber

Some days it's really hard to motivate myself to do anything. While I'd love to blame this on the pandemic, the fact is that it has always been the case. My battery runs low and then it's like everything is taking place at the bottom of the sea. It's such a huge effort to push through the weight of water and the darkness, I'd rather lie prostrate on the sand, like a sea cucumber. Today is a day like that. I just changed my sheets, a day after I was planning to change my sheets, and I kind of think someone should put me up for a medal. I don't expect to win the medal, I'm not that arrogant, but a shortlisting at least. Then I will send someone else to attend the ceremony on my behalf because I just can't be bothered. Like I said, it's not as if I'm going to win.  Nevertheless, I am somehow getting some things done. This evening (Tuesday) at 7pm (UK time) I am telling a story for Natural Born Storytellers' Once Upon A Tuesday night of true stories, which you can access on Zoom here. And I have recorded a short video, the first in a series of Postcards from Dorset, for Mezrab in Amsterdam's weekly English-language show. That will stream on Facebook here on Friday from 7.30pm (UK time) and every subsequent Friday, assuming I get my act together and keep recording the videos. Man, is it surprisingly hard to record a video. First I tried to record it myself, balancing my iPad on a cushion that was balanced on a table that was balanced on another table, but the angle was still horrible, so I had to recruit my dad as cameraman, which entailed me attempting to tell my dad what to do, which nobody has done since he was in the Navy between 1956 and 1958 (approx) so you can imagine how well that went, even before I had to try to remember what I was saying and say it in an engaging manner to an iPad being held in front of my dad's face. You can judge for yourselves the success of this venture by tuning into Mezrab on Friday! It is at least quite a fun little story, about a giant chicken. Lastly, though this involved no recent effort from myself, if you head over to the Tall Tales Emergency Broadcast page on Apple Podcasts, amongst the many excellent daily offerings you will find April 22nd release 'Demonstration 24: Tyrannosaurus Safari' which is every bit as good as that sounds: a unique recording of Robbie Hudson and my unbroadcast masterpiece Tyrannosaurus Christ (letters between a contemporary boarding school pupil and a 1990s Finnish Death Metal star) as well as one of my beloved housemate Susannah Pearse's greatest musical hits, Skiing Safari. Just in case your lockdown was not surreal enough already.  That should keep you busy enough while I complete a magical transformation from listless sea cucumber to magnificent leaping dolphin, washing and drying my sheets in a single bound!

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