Into the Great Outdoors

Good morning! I am writing this from the great outdoors (our garden) as summer has finally deigned to put in an appearance. It’s slightly bewildering to go straight from February to August, as if the weather has been in a coma and only just woken up, but this is the least of the worries of climate chaos so I am just grateful that we don’t have the heating on.

Here is the news from the garden: nothing that I have planted has died yet. I know, I’m surprised too. But it’s only been a week, give them time.

Meanwhile, we have put the cats on long leashes so that they can explore without getting out into the busy street where there is a risk of them being run over. Hildy has already managed to get her leash wrapped three times around the leg of the potting table, round a tree, and is currently digging around in the deep grass - she needs supervising, very closely. Hank has curled himself up on the bench in the sun, which is more my speed. Half of our garden has been left to grow wild, not out of laziness (although…) but to encourage (successfully!) visits from birds, butterflies and bees. We have feeders, and a small pond so that they can drink too. It’s such a pleasure to have our own little patch of untamed nature in suburban South-East London, but it also means that our lawn is constantly seeded with weeds. Hildy is doing her bit by eating them, but it’s a losing battle.

Speaking of eating weeds, my latest television addiction is Alone USA, currently streaming on Channel 4. The premise of the show is this: ten survival specialists (there is a BIG “do not try this yourself” disclaimer at the start of each episode) are dropped into the Canadian wilderness just before the start of winter, with a small selection of essential items (axe, rope etc) and some cameras to film themselves, and nothing else. Last person to die wins. Well, not quite. Just before you think you are going to die (or are just fed up of living off rock slime) you can radio for rescue, though don’t assume it will come instantly: one poor contestant who accidentally set fire to his shelter at the beginning of the night had to wait seven hours until daylight, when a helicopter could pick him up. He was placed in the surreal position of trying to keep his former shelter on fire rather than putting it out, as it was the only thing stopping him from freezing to death in the sub-sub-zero Arctic night. Why would anybody do this? Well, there is the inducement of $500,000 dollars for the last person standing, increased to $1 million if they reach 100 days. It is utterly engrossing. The contestants film and narrate themselves as they build shelters (including some incredibly impressive log cabins), hunt game, fish, hide from predators, and when things get desperate, make soup from squirrel guts and moss. There are all kinds of unexpected hazards, from a wolverine breaking into your food stash to eating a poisoned muskrat to a fly getting stuck in your ear to that old faithful, falling in a hole. Once the weakest are picked off (“I lost my fire stick trying to make myself a hot tub”) they all deserve the win, and it often seems random what will finish them off - chronic constipation, anybody? - but I have never been more impressed with a group of reality show contestants, pushing themselves to the very limits of what humans can endure. The show acquires an extra piquancy when watched from the sofa with a takeaway pizza and a glass of wine.

Film-wise, I have furthered my knowledge of the works of Preston Sturges with The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek (review in the link, as ever), a hilarious surprisingly empathetic take on the story of a young woman (the glorious Betty Hutton) who gets drunk at a party to see off a group of GIs headed to WW2, and wakes up the next morning married and pregnant but unable to remember to whom. (“His name has a Z in it.”) Though nothing beats the ridiculously sexy first half hour of The Lady Eve, this is in my view Sturges’s best film (that I have seen) overall, never once losing control of the material in a tight comedy that is full of zinging dialogue, sparkling performances, perfectly-timed pratfalls, and a huge amount of genuine warmth and love. Available to rent on Amazon and no doubt elsewhere.

Right, Hildy has got herself into an altercation with a pigeon so I had better go and rescue her. Until next time!